Father's Day

Well yet another holiday comes this year. Today is Father's Day. Today is a day where I would give John a card "signed" by our puppies (inkpad paw prints) like I do each year and talk about what an amazing puppy daddy he is and how I can't wait to make him a real daddy. The we would have the same argument about how he wanted a boy first and I wanted a girl first. That second part won't be happening. Yet another blow. John sweetie, today I want to thank you. Thank you for being a loving, supportive, compassionate man, a man I know would have been an amazing father to our children (all 4 of them because I know how easy it would be to talk you up from your maximum of 3). Kids just had a way with you and you had a way with them. They were instantly drawn to you. It was one of the many reasons why I fell more and more in love with you. I could sit and watch you play Playstation with my nephew, rock crying babies to sleep, and play with baby dolls with your little cousins. I dreamt of the days when we would have kids of our own. I dreamt of the smile that would be constantly on my face as I would watch you teach them how to ride bikes, play soccer, cheer them on as they took their first steps, and be that dad who takes zillions of pictures of them and posts them on Facebook 20 times a day. I won't lie I still dream of those days but now the bitter reality hits that those things will not be happening. So today sweetie I want to honor you as well. I may not have been able to make you a father but thank you for being the man I dreamt of making one. Thank you for being the kind of man who made me want to grow a family with. Thank you for being the kind of man I would have been proud to tell our kids they reminded me of and not just if they had your charming looks. I love you with everything I am sweetie. I may have only been able to make you a puppy daddy but trust me our pups love you more than anything in this world and miss you more than I could tell you.

 

 

 

 

Today is all about fathers and I hit the jackpot with this one. This man has held my hand, cried with me, held me, hugged me, and dried more tears than I could count. He has been my solid foundation during the most painful and trying time of my life. He has reminded me to never lose my faith despite the challenges life continues to throw at me, he has reminded me that family is forever. This is a man I dreamed my children would grow up to be like. I am forever thankful that God has blessed me with this man and that I am able to call him dad. God knew that I would need a strong and caring man to guide me through times like these and he surely delivered. My dad has been strong for me when I couldn't be strong for myself, when I felt that every ounce of strength I had was cried out. He has done anything humanly possible to make this time as easy as he could for me. This is the man who flew home early from Florida the morning John passed away to lay next to me on the bed as I cried until I literally could not feel pain anymore. He has cried with me and he has cried for me. He has reminded me that it is ok to have pain and it is ok to have emotions. He's reminded me I do not have to be strong every second of every day. He has supported me. Most importantly he has loved me. I am forever grateful as blessed to call him my daddy and daddy I love you more than words could ever describe. You are one of the most special blessings I have in this life. Thank you for helping me grow into the person I am today and thank you for being there for me always. Thank you for showing me what strong men are and what kind of man I need for myself. I saw a lot of John in you and maybe that is why I picked him to spend my life with.

 

 

I have also been blessed to call this man my daddy for almost 8 years now. This man has done much of the same as the daddy who shares me last name with me. He has cried with me, supported me, and been a constant reminder to never my faith even during a time where it is all too easy to throw faith away. He has given me the most precious and sacred gift anyone could ever give a person and that is true love. He raised a man who I love more than life itself and for that no amount of "thank you's" could ever explain how much that means to me. This man has loved me and taken me in as his daughter since day 1 of John and I's relationship. He has considered me another one of his children and has treated me just the same. This man and I have a connection now that I do not have with almost anyone else. We both lost the loves of our lives far too soon in this life. We both know the pain that comes with that loss. He is one person who when they say "I know how you're feeling" they mean exactly that. Daddy O thank you for being an amazing man. Thank you for loving me and supporting me in all my choices. I am beyond blessed to have the privilege to call you my dad. I love you forever and always. Thank you for raising the man who holds my heart. I know many of the things that I love about him are direct characteristics of what you taught him a man should be.