3 Months of Heartache

3 months. It has been 3 months since I lost the love of my life and my best friend in the whole world. It has been almost 4 months since I heard you tell me "I love you" which were the last words that you said to me as you left that night after of course insulting my driving. Life seems to be going on for so many other people and yet I feel like mine is standing still. People are moving on and moving forward and I am stuck parked in the same place I was the day I lost you, some days I feel I have moved backwards. I wake up each day, go to work, cook, clean, sleep, and then begin it all over again. I feel like I am just existing each day and getting by. I no longer think about the future as I am just trying to make it through each day. Each day is a struggle and the past few days have been extremely difficult. Things have occurred that have just broken my heart and made me realize that life is truly never going to be the same. I am so blessed to have the most amazing family and friends to be there for me and dry my tears and remind me that it is ok to be sad, it is ok to feel broken, and it is ok to let everything ok. Each day just doesn't feel right without you to tell me good night, to hold my hand in the car, and to kiss my forehead. Missing you always my love. I should be giggling like a school girl when receiving my mail which should now be addressed to Mrs. Britni Ortega. My mail still remains the same Ms. Britni Spellman...I don't know why but that somehow hurts me more than I thought it would. I should be packing for our honeymoon which would have been next weekend. Filling my bag with all my newly monogrammed items featuring my beautiful and proud new last name. Instead I sit and miss your smile and listen to my videos of your laugh. I have been really struggling this weekend my love. Missing you always sweetie pie. As I listen to the rain and thunder outside I know you are missing me too. Love you always angel.